Last Take #4 – Oh Lore?

I forgot it was Monday and I’m kinda under the weather so here’s the lore for a cat named Pixel.

The being that is currently known as Pixel has incredibly complex and trans-universal origins. The original Pixel was, contrary to popular belief, an actual cat. He was being held captive by the Rats from Bad Rats. However, he was able to escape his fate with the help of a renegade windows 98 OS that had fused with a cat-themed bonzi buddy. This being is also Pixel. In the original Pixel timeline, the Cat Pixel (Pixel 1) and the AI Pixel (Pixel 2) took very divergent paths in life.

1 moved to New York City, where he got a job working at a pizzeria. This is where the Pixel timeline splits for the first time. In one timeline, 1 remains a pizzeria cat who develops a taste for human meat after accidentally eating a line cooks thumb. In the split timeline, 1 is turned INTO a cat robot thing by a mad scientist/mafia boss (Pixel 3), and becomes a cannibal for fun, because he’s an evil boy.

2 was eventually assigned to work at the large hadron collider, which suffered a mistake in this timeline that caused 2 to become evil. 2 built himself a body and another version of himself (Pixel 4) to operate it. 4 was eventually killed by 4.

The original timeline divergence, however, stretches back to the bad rats capture. In the timeline where 1 dies, 2 becomes immediately vengeful, and declares war on rat kind. Due to 2’s chaotic nature, the world suffers a nuclear holocaust at his hands. A thousand years in this future is when 2 builds the first Pixel Factory.

Normally these canon timeline divergences make no sense, because no Pixel has the ability to time travel (yet), however this can all be explained by Pixel’s father.

Pixel’s father was Schroedingers cat. Although only meant to exist as a scientific paradox, he was an actual cat in an actual box, but he also wasn’t at the same time. However, this cat was able to conceive pixel with Pixel’s mom (The Sphinx from Egypt, See appendix 8). Due to Pixel’s nature of both existing and not at the same time, he appears in many places that don’t seem logical.

Pixel 3 eventually ends up becoming the mob boss himself, but also a crooked cop at the same time. It’s here when 3 dabbles in robotics himself, creating an exact copy of himself (Pixel 5). 5 and 3 switch identities so that 5 is sent to jail for 3s crimes, and 3 escapes to Japan. It is here where the paradoxical existence of Pixel as a concept finally draws things together.

Route Agent Pixel (Pixel 6), the only confirmed pixel with the ability to travel through time, appears to 3, and travels to the Pixel factory built by alt-alt universe 2. Because 2 is destined to be chaotic evil forever, 3 and 6 work to destroy him. However, this ends badly, and the chrono stone held by 6 becomes integrated in the now super powered 2. Due to the nature of existing while not existing, and time bullshit, the pixel factory becomes the birthplace of pixel’s father, AKA Schroedingers cat.

Because the pixel factory cannot exist without pixel being born, and pixel cant be born if his dad wasn’t created by the pixel factory, all cats in the universe are erased, and only 1-6 are left in a void. This is when Lord Beerus the destroyer enters the picture.

Beerus claims to be Pixels cousin, which is technically true, as since he is an extra-dimensional being in the pixelverse, he was not effected by the factory’s destruction. Beerus offers Pixel the chance to write his wrongs, and using the chrono stone, all 6 pixels are sent to the beginning of the universe.

It is here where original timeline actual cat Pixel is left behind to become the ancestor of every cat and catlike thing in the universe.

Go Leafs Go, see you on Thursday

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