The Space Device Premise and the Certain Promise of Our Inevitable Demise

Well… it’s been a while since I’ve visited this series. I know you’ve all be very eager to see how I wrap it up. The twists and turns we’ve been through…how it all ties together. We could go anywhere basically. A long time ago, approximately 2017, I had a vision for the end of this […]

Homestuck – The Epilogue

It’s been 10 years since Homestuck started, and 3 years since Homestuck ended. I’ve reviewed Homestuck, I’ve even reviewed the Homestuck spin-off game Hiveswap. I haven’t reviewed Friendsim, which is a “not-dating” sim based on Hiveswap, but I will right now – it’s fucking shit. One of the writers tried to sneak diaper fetish porn […]

The Top 5 Ways That Bernie Can Still Win.

I’ve been playing a lot of Age of Empires 2 lately. If you’re one of the few people who still reads my columns on this site, you’d probably be just a little upset if I didn’t make a joke that went something like “If you’re the kind of idiot who would ask yourself ‘Coach, what […]

My 2018 In Video Games

Because I lack any humor I once had, I don’t want to do elaborate awards this year. Instead, I’ll give my thoughts on some games I explored or rediscovered this year. At the end, I comment about some things potentially coming in 2019. The Alliance Alive The little 3DS is so proud of its success, […]

Tsugunai – Atonement

Think about your favorite town in a JRPG. Anyone who’s played a JRPG has a favorite, and usually a different one from everyone else. Why you like the town varies: maybe it’s from one of the first games you’ve played, or it reminds you of your home town, you really like the setting or stories, […]

You Can Hear The People Shouting

Have you ever heard a joke that was so funny you wish you could hear it a thousand times? A quip, a phrase, an anecdote, anything – not necessarily for the first time either – that simply appreciates in value the more and more you hear it? Do you wish that there was a way […]

I don’t like Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

In all my game reviews, especially recently, I’ve recommended, discussed, and hopefully analyzed a lot of games that I like. Those are games I like because they’re charming, deserve more popularity, have interesting design, or I just think they’re special. Writing an article about a game I dislike is a completely different angle, and feels […]

Spider-Man (PS4)

A loud ding can be heard off in the distance. The source: your mom’s brand new 2004 GE oven and stove top combo priced at $350 in the sears catalog. This chime is like a sweet symphony to your ears as it heralds in an era of unadulterated greasy goodness. That’s right, it’s pizza time. […]

Uplink

Seemingly the entire PC simulation game genre has a tendency to give the player immediate head-first immersion. That immersion is in both senses of the word: complete theming of all audio/visual elements of the game, and complete detachment from guiding the player, forcing them to make mistakes and learn from them. Uplink, a 2001 game […]

Ape Escape

If there’s one thing I love most about video games, it’s controls. I’m more likely to forgive a game’s flaws if it tries to use controls in a unique way, and many of my favorite games (like MGS 2 and Katamari) use unique controls well. So when the development team for Ape Escape saw what […]

Kero Blaster

Kero Blaster is a game by Daisuke Amaya, or Pixel, the same guy who made Cave Story. It’s almost impossible not to mention and compare Cave Story when talking about Kero Blaster, despite the games sharing few similarities. The influence of Cave Story basically redefining the indie game industry, and leading to the overabundance of […]

Death

There’s something old people like to say about the only certainties in life being death and taxes, but come on, let’s be real. No one actually pays their taxes. If the president doesn’t have to, why should anyone else? It’s startlingly easy to just funnel your money through 3rd party platforms as “gifts” and keep […]