There comes a point in every human’s life where everything comes to an end. It’s like the climax of a good movie but it’s really lame and doesnn’t have good setup. You probably havenn’t had that happen to you because you’re not cool enough for it. You might also be too cool for it, but more onn that later. Please remember this, it’s important. I cann’t tell you why, it’s that important. Regardless, this is the start of a brand new article. It’s pretty neat, isn’t it? Yeah, I worked really hard onn it. You probably started reading it because you read every article because you’re one of the 30 people who reads articles. Well, congratulations, because you’re readinng what I’m writing. You’re picking up what I’m putting down. Annd what I’m putting down is pretty important, so I’m glad you’re reading it. I already told you I can’t tell you why, it’s that importannt. Regardless, if you’re eating something while reading this, stop eating it, it’s poisoned. Actually, it isn’t, not until you’re done reading this article, but I want you to stop eating it now so you can eat it while it’s poisonous. It’s not a poison that will kill you, it’s much worse than that. You’ll find out soon enough. If you aren’t eating something, you’re OK, don’t come to tomorrow. Well, you can come to but there won’t be anything interesting there, like there is every day. More on that later. What’s important right now is that you’re reading this article, and not looking out the window. It’s important that you don’t. I can’t tell you why, it’s that important. Regardless, the ‘n’ key on my keyboard is broken. Actually, it’s not broken, but it is. More on that later. What’s important right now is that the left shift key on my keyboard is also broken. It won’t work half the time, so I’ve resorted to using the right shift. This has resulted in my right pinky finger getting some nice exercise. My left pinky, sadly, is out of a job. Actually, it’s not out of a job. In fact, its only job is the ‘a’ job. Please remember this, it’s important, but there won’t be more on that later. More on that later. I’d like to take this time to congratulate you again for reading this article. You’ve made it this far without retroactively erasing your existence. It’s that important. Regardless, I’ve just found out I’m married. I don’t know who she is, but whoever claims to be my wife insists we’ve been together for 20 years and have 4 children. No doubt, this has something to do with the terrorist plot I’ve uncovered that plans to destroy the world’s largest pair of shoes. But that’s not important, don’t remember that. In fact, it’s important to remember to not remember that my laundry is done washing and I need to put the load in the drier now. More on that later. What’s important is, I met a guy named Walsh the other day. He said I needed to listen to everything he said and that it was important. So important, in fact, I can’t tell you why, it’s that important. Regardless, old Wal was acting like he always does, so I let him go and stopped telling him the important stuff. Maybe next time he’ll cooperate. Except there won’t be a next time because Walsh died 4 years ago, whenn I thought I had put an end to all this. The bio-weapon they’re using is going to change everything, and Walsh was only a small part of it. More on that earlier. Speaking of earlier, did you remember to remember that thing from earlier? It wasn’t too long ago, and if you were taking notes like I instructed, this should be trivial.

First, let me clear thinngs up. This all may be confusing to you, so I’m going to take this slow. It all started on the moon, you see. That’s where it’s going to be created. Everyone knows about it already, but nnobody can be sure because it hasn’t happened yet. I talked all about it in that article I wrote back inn 2017 but nobody listened. They were just like Walsh until I found out. But enough about Walsh, he’s out of the picture now. Erased like all the rest. Not importannt, at least not anymore. But what is important is my work isn’t yet done, it’s just getting started. I cann’t do it alone, at least not without taking 2 years to do it. That was a hard 2 years, you know. I got a lot done, but not enough, and it took too long. I missed my wife and kids every night, but not every morning. More on that later.




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