hey sam you asshole yeah i know your reading this u bitch. think i dont remember the lies you told me in 5th grade well guess again mother fuckr. i just beat oregon trail and it was easy as fuck you said it was the hardest game ever and i couldnt play it because only ur dad had an apple 2 and wouldnt let anyone else use it. u also said there were hot babes at the end that took theyre shirts off but oh look thats a lie too. i bet ur gay and also have no freinds and play video games all day OH WAIT you probly dont because you fucking suck at them for not being able to beat oregon trail it was way too easy lol. i hjope u feel good about yourself for lieing to me after all those years leading me to think this game was even kinda hard. this fucking game i beat it the first try its not even fun it doent have good grafx and the music is bad.

you and fuckin drowned

the game is entirely diec rolls and u cant even control them like a normal rpg no you just fucking go for a day and hope to god something bad doesnt happen. but u can make this better if ur not from the midwest like a gay faggot and do some normal ass porffesion like banker before you go to oregon for fuck whatever reason. its not like bad shit wont happen 2 u but youll just have more money so you can just keep buying stuff as u go. thats just waht real life is anyways so life leson ding ding just dont get a shit job lol.

i mean why even fucking go to oregon its not like theres anything there its like california but worse. i mean damn i would rather live in ohio or illinoy than be in faggot town lol thats what it is really. and even if u do decide to go ther (but like i said u shouldnt then dont go in a fucking wagon what is this 1848 or somethin lol. maybe u do belogn in oregon if u cant just get a plane ticket like a normal non-faggot lol. but seriously maybe the only upside of taking a wagon is if u need all ur stuff with you but why even do it if thers a 90% chance youll loose it all in a river.

and thats another thing why do you need to cross so many rivers in this game isnt there a thing called bridges lol. and every time u dont use a raft or fairy u lose stuff everyt ime so why is there even an option to not use a raft. or maybe just put the option in to use a bridge. these idiots at apple think they can just make a game out of a totaly dumb idea in a world that doesnt even have bridges lol i guess they just live in oragon lol.

oregon trail family

like why even make a game harder than it should be like duh its not rocket scienece just take a plane but no you have to buy food and take the whole fucking summer to travel. even when they try to make it hard it still isnt hard like hey maybe put ur backs into it next time. but what are u going to do make an oregon trail ii lol what a joke maybe try playing ur game to figure out how shit it is before releasing it u really screwed up this time.

oh yeah and people die in this game but ill tell you why thats a good thing. see people dieing doesnt matter when youre playing the game it only matters if you just keep one alive til the end. and better yet you can just name everyone sam and let them all die and just laugh like thats where the game is fun (ok maybe this game is a little fun if you do that but that doesnt count really you can kill sam in many but not all games including but not limited 2: most rpgs where u can name your character also in splinter cell is about a guy named sam but you can make him get shot haha showed u sam fucker fucking fuck) better yet u can die of disentary aka poop disease it doesnt show it but they should maybe include that in the sequel just a picture of sam squirting liquid shit lol fuck u sam ill fight u any time meet me after school u fucker.

anyways back to the game i mean if you even want to think about a game that sucks so much lol. its pretty fun like a 9/10 at least its not most games by nintendo lol nintendo more like pretendo those games are for fucking kids probably sam plays them theyre so easy their easier than oregon trail lol


Also published on Medium.

5 thoughts on “oregon trail: shtu the fuck up sam

    1. Dear Roger,

      This is Sam. My dad died four years ago and it’s still your fault. I will never forgive you. Stop cyber harassing me and let it go. This was 15 years ago. Are you a petulant child?

      Fuck out of my life forever.

      -Sam

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