Look At Me. I Am The Coach Now.

In the exact same week, long time hockey personality/Godhead/xenophobe/builder of the game and the host of Hockey Night in Canada’s fabled Coach’s Corner segment *and* the old, ailing coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs got fired. Let’s break this down a bit. Don Cherry is gone. I named my little sports-or-whatever column on this publication […]

A Response to “Overwatch’s Nicest Players Are Giving Me Anxiety”

Firstly – Nathan Grayson, go fuck yourself. I have been working in the journalism industry for half a decade, and I have been around journalism and the products thereof for my entire life. I have witnessed some truly extreme and embarrassing takes from the “verified” “professional” types, from CNN to Fox and Friends to Carles […]

A Bold Re-Gifting – The Pope Just Gave Donald Trump A Copy Of Undertale

If anything, 2016 will go down in history as the year that shit just plain stopped making sense. About a year ago, for some reason that I have not been able to determine despite hours of research, his holiness The Pope invited a bunch of youtubers to the goddamn Vatican. This was generally regarded as […]

The Tale of the Cracker Connoisseur

Once upon a time there was a cracker connoisseur who was named William Henry York or something like that. He had eaten crackers all his life, and soon came to realize there was more to crackers than being simply a salty snack. Lately, he was in search of a more sophisticated cracker. He had always […]

TOP 5 REASONS WHY I KIDNAPPED AND THEN KILLED TODD KINCANNONS DOG

Before we kick this off I’d like to say that I had a very hard time narrowing this down to just the top five reasons. I had almost 90 reasons on the shortlist before I sat down to bang this one out. I’d have to say that I spent nearly two hours narrowing this down […]

HIVESWAP – Reviewed

Today, in an effort to continue the ongoing war of gimmick infringement I’m fighting with W.H.Y. (Come on man, Pasta Salad?) I’m going to review a video game. Let’s get this over with. Hiveswap is a video game. Cool, right? Well, what the hell is Hiveswap? That’s a good question, because I certainly don’t know, […]

Listen, I Understand You Are Upset, But No Amount Of Yelling At Me Or My Manager Will Fix The McFlurry Machine Before The Back-Ordered Parts Arrive

We’ve all been there. 15 Bong Rips deep in an awkward night with your friend Bryan, who you really only spend time with because he’s super lonely, and you kinda feel bad for him.

Post-Modernism, A Crash Course; or “Turns out, you can just put words in any order you want and it doesn’t matter.”

So, what is the Deal with post-modernism? Isn’t right now modern? How can we be post-modern? Isn’t that just the future? Unfortunately, due entirely to dipshits who decided to name an era that occurred now nearly 80 years ago as the “modern era” without any shred of foresight as to the fact that time (not […]

I’m Not Going To Kill Bart Simpson, But If I Was, Here Is How I Would Do It

e have a problem. It’s nearly 2017, and Bart Simpson is still alive. “Wait, what are you talking about?” You’re probably saying right now, out loud at your computer screen like some kind of idiot who thinks I can hear you. “Bart Simpson is a cool guy. Why is it bad that he’s alive?” Or, […]

Huge List of “Fake News” Websites

Here is a list of “fake news” sites. These sites use hyperbole, bias and misleading information to push traffic to their sites. This is not the end all be all of fake news media, but it is a comprehensive and evolving list. A few may be controversial, but in general, people can agree these have […]

2016 Hellection, In Pepe We Trust

It is happening. The election is nigh. Pepe’s chosen has sex with his supermodel wife before styling his signature hair using the moisture from the linens of virgins for hair gel and riding his EAGLE from the top of Trump Tower. He rides to the polls. Meanwhile, in the darkness of the Democrats’ HQ, Hillary sits on a […]

I Killed Someone In A Virtual Reality Game And Now I Am Being Charged With First Degree Murder

I’m really good at video games, and any women reading this should call me.