Category: Game Reviews

Spooktober: Kid Dracula

Kid Dracula is a Castlevania spinoff released in 1993 for the Gameboy. It’s a sequel/remake of an earlier, inferior Japan-only NES game. You play as Dracula’s son, on a quest to save the castle or something, the story was neither clear nor important. The game doesn’t really play similar to Castlevania as you might expect,… Continue reading Spooktober: Kid Dracula

Brand New Sandbox MMORPG 2017 | Albion Online Review

Hooboy. Let me tell you about my new favorite game “Brand New Sandbox MMORPG 2017”. Officially, I believe it’s called Albion Online, but the game’s website has the name backwards, I suppose for SEO reasons. Albion Online (AO) is a “sandbox” MMORPG developed by a small German studio called Sandbox Interactive (SBI). It’s the first NEW… Continue reading Brand New Sandbox MMORPG 2017 | Albion Online Review

Spooktober: F.E.A.R.

F.E.A.R. is a linear first person shooter in the vein of Half-Life. Released in 2005 by Monolith Productions, it’s a fairly fun game that holds up in the graphics and gameplay departments. The visuals and 3D audio (look into installing those drivers) make the game extremely atmospheric with little detriment to gameplay. There’s 2 expansion… Continue reading Spooktober: F.E.A.R.

Chibi Robo – Spring Cleaning

Apparently people like to clean in the springtime. I just like to play video games. Chibi-Robo is a game about cleaning, a game about cleaning with a toothbrush as a 2 inch tall robot. An already tedious task scaled to “fuck you” proportions. Still want to clean? Doesn’t matter, because your real task is to… Continue reading Chibi Robo – Spring Cleaning

The Far Cry 3 Template

The Far Cry 3 Template is a basic plan to make an open world game, one which everyone will recall as fun, praising its gameplay, all without an inch of proper game design. This template existed before Ubisoft’s Pile Of Shit 3, in many different forms, from many different developers. I term it as such… Continue reading The Far Cry 3 Template

Thoughts on the Early Access Model

Hey Remember Minecraft? Everyone remembers Minecraft. Kind of a weird game to talk about, since its fanbase, development timeline, popularity, and the gameplay itself are all either terrible or a preface for terrible things to come. Minecraft was probably the first popular early access game. Nobody really thinks of it this way, since it existed… Continue reading Thoughts on the Early Access Model

Situation: Ace Combat 04 vs 5

〈〈 Robek 3, Engage. 〉〉 I recently wrote an article about my proposal for a new word about video game stories. If you haven’t read it, please do so now. Ace Combat 04 and 5, released by Namco in 2001 and 2004, were flight combat video games which leaned away from realism, and towards arcade-style physics… Continue reading Situation: Ace Combat 04 vs 5

Situation: A New Word For Story in Games

I want a new way to look at the story in games, what we have now just won’t do. Games are obviously a different medium than movies, or books, and some developers fail to understand this. So, why even have a story, or care about it? Like John Carmack said, “Story in a game is… Continue reading Situation: A New Word For Story in Games

oregon trail: shtu the fuck up sam

hey sam you asshole yeah i know your reading this u bitch. think i dont remember the lies you told me in 5th grade well guess again mother fuckr. i just beat oregon trail and it was easy as fuck you said it was the hardest game ever and i couldnt play it because only… Continue reading oregon trail: shtu the fuck up sam