Author: Worldwide Hyper Yawn

I have successfully replaced any social needs with the internet
I play too many video games than what's good for me

Loom

Do you have a moment to talk about Loom? Loom is an 1990 Lucasarts Lucasfilm Games point-and-click adventure game made for DOS. Despite this incredibly specific genre category, it’s almost nothing like Maniac Mansion or The Secret of Monkey Island. I’ll spare the summary, since it’s more worthwhile for you to play the extremely short… Continue reading Loom

The Year in Review: Video Games 2017

2017 was a year in which video games were released, I think. Much better than all those years where video games were not released. Anyways, I did make an article like this last year. Last year I wasn’t fucking 2 months late, and furthermore that article was actually good. I also said last year that,… Continue reading The Year in Review: Video Games 2017

Parasite Eve

This time of year, everyone has the same argument with the same people: Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Sure, it takes place during Christmastime, and there is quite a lot of references to the holiday, but is that what makes it so? At the end of the day, it’s still an enjoyable, well-made film… Continue reading Parasite Eve

The Top 5 Things I Learned From Reading All Of The “The Top 5 Things I Learned From Watching All Of The “Death Stranding” Trailers On Hard Drugs” Article On Hard Drugs

Okay Coach… Coaches Corner? Coaches? However I’m supposed to say your name, this article is for your eyes only. Also for the eyes of everyone else reading this article. I know this is outside the area of your expertise, but hey, Full Disclosure? I don’t care. Number 5 – Psycho Mantis has always been real… Continue reading The Top 5 Things I Learned From Reading All Of The “The Top 5 Things I Learned From Watching All Of The “Death Stranding” Trailers On Hard Drugs” Article On Hard Drugs

Games Don’t Need To Be Shorter

But they shouldn’t be longer either. What do you think when someone tells you a game is 100 hours long? Chances are you don’t get excited; I wouldn’t. Experience shows that a game that long is going to have lots of padding, and most of that time is spent unsatisfied. There’s a point in any… Continue reading Games Don’t Need To Be Shorter

Spooktober Bonus Article – Cut List

I don’t have time to play so many games, I’m only one person. Maybe, since I’m a Games Journalist, I can review a game without completing it or knowing too much backstory about it. So here’s a few games which didn’t make the cut due to my inability to focus and play one game at… Continue reading Spooktober Bonus Article – Cut List

Spooktober: Kid Dracula

Kid Dracula is a Castlevania spinoff released in 1993 for the Gameboy. It’s a sequel/remake of an earlier, inferior Japan-only NES game. You play as Dracula’s son, on a quest to save the castle or something, the story was neither clear nor important. The game doesn’t really play similar to Castlevania as you might expect,… Continue reading Spooktober: Kid Dracula

Spooktober: F.E.A.R.

F.E.A.R. is a linear first person shooter in the vein of Half-Life. Released in 2005 by Monolith Productions, it’s a fairly fun game that holds up in the graphics and gameplay departments. The visuals and 3D audio (look into installing those drivers) make the game extremely atmospheric with little detriment to gameplay. There’s 2 expansion… Continue reading Spooktober: F.E.A.R.

May 2017 – Death and Rebirth

This month in video games played with what few emotions I have left. Mostly contained in two, completely unrelated events, about the availability of two unique but flawed third person shooters which initially released exclusively on 7th gen consoles. I’m talking about Alan Wake and Vanquish. tl;dr: I recommend both of them, but they aren’t… Continue reading May 2017 – Death and Rebirth

The Tale of the Cracker Connoisseur

Once upon a time there was a cracker connoisseur who was named William Henry York or something like that. He had eaten crackers all his life, and soon came to realize there was more to crackers than being simply a salty snack. Lately, he was in search of a more sophisticated cracker. He had always… Continue reading The Tale of the Cracker Connoisseur

Chibi Robo – Spring Cleaning

Apparently people like to clean in the springtime. I just like to play video games. Chibi-Robo is a game about cleaning, a game about cleaning with a toothbrush as a 2 inch tall robot. An already tedious task scaled to “fuck you” proportions. Still want to clean? Doesn’t matter, because your real task is to… Continue reading Chibi Robo – Spring Cleaning