The Window Game, part 2

A retrospective on a piece of investigative journalism analyzing the hottest youth trend in the world. (read part 1 here) The Interview with “Jonny Meats” As far as journalistic leads go, I would describe “Jonny Meats” as room temperature. I met the grandson of Polish immigrants turned internet celebrity and folk hero just off campus,… Continue reading The Window Game, part 2

No Amount of Social Distancing is Going to Make You Feel Better About The Future of the Mets

It is March 18th, 2020. It’s around the middle of the day for most people in the United States. You are alone. So what, right? You’re always alone anyway. The only difference between being alone last March 18th is that no one (rightfully) called you a hero for it. A year ago today, if you… Continue reading No Amount of Social Distancing is Going to Make You Feel Better About The Future of the Mets

Art & Artist

I wasn’t as nervous about starting my new career as I thought I would be – at least, not at first. I suppose part of my casual approach to the situation was the daily consumption of anxiety medication combined with the fact I had decided to call a part-time job working the overnight desk at… Continue reading Art & Artist

The future of Major League Baseball.

This may be distressing news to some of you, and it pains me to be the one who breaks it, but anime is not real. Obviously anime – the medium – is real. If it wasn’t, you couldn’t have weird, heated, and vaguely Gary Glitter adjacent arguments about which 13 year old girl from Neon… Continue reading The future of Major League Baseball.

Homestuck – The Epilogue

It’s been 10 years since Homestuck started, and 3 years since Homestuck ended. I’ve reviewed Homestuck, I’ve even reviewed the Homestuck spin-off game Hiveswap. I haven’t reviewed Friendsim, which is a “not-dating” sim based on Hiveswap, but I will right now – it’s fucking shit. One of the writers tried to sneak diaper fetish porn… Continue reading Homestuck – The Epilogue

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The Top 5 Ways That Bernie Can Still Win.

I’ve been playing a lot of Age of Empires 2 lately. If you’re one of the few people who still reads my columns on this site, you’d probably be just a little upset if I didn’t make a joke that went something like “If you’re the kind of idiot who would ask yourself ‘Coach, what… Continue reading The Top 5 Ways That Bernie Can Still Win.


There’s something old people like to say about the only certainties in life being death and taxes, but come on, let’s be real. No one actually pays their taxes. If the president doesn’t have to, why should anyone else? It’s startlingly easy to just funnel your money through 3rd party platforms as “gifts” and keep… Continue reading Death